In May, 2024 I presented Challenging Ableism for an Inclusive Future as part of the Fashion-Able-Ally: A Celebration of Allyship in Livingston, New Jersey. Hosted by the Livingston Advisory Committee for Disabilities and the Livingston Committee for Diversity & Inclusion for Mental Health Awareness Month.
Challenging Ableism for an Inclusive Future
When my colleague told me about this opportunity she said she didn’t feel like the right person to give this talk. I also don’t feel like the right person to give this talk, because I feel I am not an expert. What I have experienced isn’t extraordinary. Who am I to stand up here in front of all of you and say with authority that you should help us eradicate ableism?
Well, this is a great example of how ableism makes us second guess ourselves, making us believe that if we are not 100% perfect, 100% of the time, then we are not worthy. Not worthy of speaking up, taking up space, validating our own feelings, or being loved and cared for.
If you’ve ever felt this way, would you mind saying, “I hear you”. Thank you, I hear you too.
Let’s not fall into this ableist, misogynistic, racist trap. I am here to remind us all tonight, that we are all worthy. We are all the right people to talk about the things we are passionate about. So here goes:
When I think about ableism it feels both immensely powerful, heavy, ready to suffocate us all in a moment; and yet, it also feels invisible. Even as a person with a disability, when I see ableism, others often do not. This makes me feel invisible. The absolute requirement of masking my mental illnesses is exhausting. It violates everything that feels authentically me, and yet, I continue to mask most days. This makes me feel invisible too. If you’ve ever felt this way before, would you mind saying, “I see you”. Thank you, I see you too…
….
I thought if I could learn about my illnesses I could fix them. Fix me. If I intellectualize the battle it gives me authority to be in their world. But we aren’t going to think ourselves out of ableism. And we can’t act like them. We can't hide and conform and adapt and change for them.
The very wise, Gloria Anzaldua wrote in her 1987 book, Borderlands that quote “Culture forms our beliefs. We perceive the version of reality that it communicates. Dominant paradigms: predefined concepts that exist as unquestionable, unchallengeable, are transmitted to us through culture. Culture is made by those in power–men. Males make the rules and laws; women transmit them… The culture expects women to show greater acceptance of, and commitment to, the value system than men.” unquote I would add to this, by saying that culture expects all those who are marginalized to follow the rules. Including non-christians, low-income individuals, people with disabilities, trans folks and other members of the LGBTQIA+ community and those who are Black, Indigenous, or People of Color. They must conform or hide their true selves to stay safe in this culture.
Together, perhaps, we can all be brave. Brave enough to break the societal rules imposed upon us that make us disabled. That oppresses us daily. Perhaps we can be brave enough together, to be seen as our true, messy but also magical selves.
Let’s be heard. Let’s share our stories until it no longer requires bravery to exist in this culture. Let’s challenge ableism. Let’s absolutely destroy it with love and radical acceptance.
read the rest of my speech Challenging Ableism for an Inclusive Future here.